What in the World am I Here For?

1 Corinthians 10:23-32

I was 13 maybe 14 years old, sitting at the desk in my bedroom. I was writing my thoughts down; Just my raw thoughts. I called it a poem. I think that helped me justify the need to put my thoughts on paper. There wasn’t really anything poetic about it. Once I finished, I put it in a box in my closet. I didn’t want my parents to find it. I was afraid that if they did, they would think I was suicidal or something. I was thinking about that, I just didn’t want them to know. I was probably embarrassed. I knew my parents loved me a lot and they would want to talk to me about it, I just didn’t know at the time that that was what I was supposed to do.

The letter I wrote (or poem) was all questions; Questions asking what the point is. What is the point to life? All my life I had been told that we were just some cosmic accident, goop that accidentally started to breath and think. Humanity was just a meaningless combination of chemicals – a blip in the cosmos. I wrote if asking if there was really just nothing after we died, then what was the point of anything? If the end result was nothing, then what would it matter if we lived a good life or a bad one? If our life was long or short, if we had a lot of fun or cried a lot, or if we left the world a better place or worse one – none of that really mattered if the end result was just nothing. In fact, it wouldn’t change anything if I lived a long life or a short one.

I was loved dearly. I had a great family – an awesome mom, dad, and sister. At school I didn’t have many friends, but I had some good ones, and I was making some new ones. I felt like I belonged. What I didn’t have was purpose.